Report Card Time at the Trump Household

By Eric G Braun, Senior Writer, USRW

Break out your red markers and smiley faces and make room on the refrigerator, it's report card time at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. The first 100 days of the Trump Administration will surely be a collection of hits and misses.

Measuring this man’s performance in 100 days is akin to your probationary period at work. You learned on the fly, made mistakes, and miscalculated, but you were retained because you were trying, and once taught and with your feet on the ground, you will be an asset to the company.

That’s how I see this media inflated time frame that world peace must be achieved within 100 days. These measuring sticks mean absolutely nothing--all they do is give you a chance to see a sense of direction, and get a new administration functioning as a team and coordinated with each other.

I would be remiss if I didn’t play the game, so I give you a B Minus Mr. President. I think you are a work in progress and will slide into the mold that you pick yourself, not one the establishment has tried to corral you into.

We all know what the subjects will be and how all over the charts the grades will be, based on left or right wing graders. So let’s go in a different direction and look at some of the comments his teachers might have written in that comments space.

“Donald is an aggressive little boy, full of energy and friendly, though he can be very spiteful if crossed.”

“Donald needs to stop spending so much time on Twitter and more time learning his lessons.”

“He is a crafty boy, however, not for all good intentions. He is not allowed to play monopoly anymore in free time, because he was foreclosing on the other children.”

“Donny’s fascination with money and material goods is a bit off-setting. He was recently disciplined for selling his own cookies in the lunchroom, claiming they were a better quality and huge.”

“His taste for authority is also concerning, as he walks around firing the staff members all day.”

“Little Donald told the Spanish teacher he was going to have her deported because she gave him detention for checking green cards in class.”  

“Donald’s term paper on “building a wall on the Mexican Border”, was just laughable, imagine this child’s imagination.”

“When the school nurse was speaking about vaccines in an assembly to the students, Donald had the entire assembly chanting “Lock Her Up”.

“Donald was recently given a verbal warning about standing outside the bathrooms monitoring gender compliance.”

“Donald has been acting a bit strangely lately, mumbling about people watching him, and I even saw him checking his eraser for a listening device.”

As you can see America, your newest student is a handful, but our school counselors assure us this behavior is just a passing phase and there’s no harm.  After all parents, it’s not like he’s going to be President one day…

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